Break-up or being too harsh? - ATX News Paper

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Thursday, July 27, 2023

Break-up or being too harsh?

I got out of a pretty damaging 6-year relationship about a year ago. I finally decided it was time to get back out there, so I did and I met someone I thought was great. Initially, we had a lot of the same interests and outlooks on life. In the first couple of weeks, I noticed she would snap at me about little things that I didn’t think were that big of a deal. I noted this, but brushed it off. I saw this as a small red flag, especially so early on, but things didn’t get bad until about a week later. We’ve been together a little over a month, and I get diagnosed with Mono. She had mono about 4 months ago, and we both didn’t realize it could be contagious for that long even when she wasn’t having symptoms. Anyway, I get horribly sick…probably the worst sickness I’ve ever experienced as in throat so closed up I can’t eat, not being able to sleep from pain and choking on my own mucus, 101-103 fever for 6 days straight. I expected her to be understanding while I was sick if I told her I needed some rest because in my mind if she was sick and she asked for some time to rest, I would say “absolutely baby, do whatever you need to feel better and I’ll be here for whatever you need.” Instead, she said when I was sick I was selfish and absent and the relationship was completely one-sided. She said she felt lonely and that I was putting in zero effort. I tried to explain to her me being sick was really hindering my ability to do anything and she said that was a cop-out and I should make sacrifices for her even when I’m sick. She told me I’m being a baby, I’m spoiled, and it’s gross that I’m spoiled and I should really learn to man-up because her last relationship had a lot of effort put in and she doesn’t deserve this. Current day, we have been together a little over a month still and I’m feeling a bit better from the mono, but now I have absolutely no desire to be with her. I feel like her reaction to my sickness was such a big red flag in the case of her character, and I don’t think it’s someone I wanna be with. Especially since I was hurt in my previous relationship, I don’t even want to entertain this at all. I’m completely numb, and I think it was too early in the relationship to be having fights every night about me being sick? I feel like in the future, this behavior would only get worse if she’s willing to show such a mean side of her one-month in. Am I being too harsh? Am I jumping the gun on breaking up wit her? I just feel I have no motivation or desire to be with anyone right now and I’ve been completely thrown off by the way she treated me when I was sick. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

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