In a paraphrase from the book "The Art of Seduction", defensiveness creates defensiveness in others, and is unattractive. It is okay to be defensive sometimes when in immediate danger, but a level headed mind is far more attractive. As an example, say that someone insults you or your date in some way, rather then getting defensive in front of your date, own it, lean into it, and really turn it into a joke you crafted. Being defensive is a turn off.
I would highly recommend anyone listen to the audiobook "The Art of Seduction" which is free on YouTube. It is not a book on manipulation, but rather a book on understanding why someone may or may not be attractive to men or women. This book covers both genders and even those in between, the seducer and seducee.
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