Last night went to a friends(m19) place to hangout and maybe hook up, we have had seen each other many times. We stopped talking and hanging out for about 6 months. I thought he was moving back to Texas but I guess he is staying another year. Okay enough with the back story, he texted me to come over…. I said yes bc I like the dude but it was a 40 mins drive. I drove over, we watched a movie and smoked. After the movie he asked to smoke again… we did and then he asked me to give him a bj and I did. I asked him if he could give me head and he was being very hesitant, I told him he can say no and he said “I don’t really like doing that” I’m not going to lie, that was a big turn off (idk I felt some type of way bc all the other times he would give me head) idk but I do really like the guy sooo I was like okay can we at least kiss or something. He said yes but it wasn’t good… fast forward we are both high asf and and I wasn’t enjoying it at all he is big sooo it hurts, he was being very cold towards me. He wanted to choke and pull my hair but not make my experience pleasurable. I sort of just stood up and we stopped. He asked me again to finish him and I told him “I don’t really like doing that” after that I used the bathroom and starting putting my shoes on, I asked him to walk me to my car cuz it was around 3:30am. He did walk me outside but then he got in his car and started to drive away not even 3 mins later. I went home and slept it off but now it’s the next day and I feel bad, upset, disrespected. My friend told me that he probably went to someone house to finish or something. They also said that maybe he has a gf and he just wanted to used me and be rough bc he thought I was a crazy girl. Yes I like the dude but not enough to tell him about how I feel… yea I think the best thing to do is not to hookup with him again and probably not even see him again. What do y’all think about this?
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