I am 22 f never been in love . Only time I have felt closer to love is having a cursh on guy who was not into me and he knew that i liked him very bad he basically used to give mixed hints to me and recently he started to date some other other I felt sad but I wasn't like I am crying day and night so I think I am over him ( because we don't share any eye contacts I just don't look at his side and he also doesn't and I did not react to a few things he did on purpose just to hurt me maybe ).
Since I'm 22 I also recently landed a decent paying job I also felt that now its the time to find someone and fall in love . So I got connected to a guy online and he started to act as if he is in love I mean it was just a week and we started to talk which just normal talk (like how are u, your carrier goals , your ambitious plans ) but he started to express a lot in a way that it felt that he was into me . So today I addressed it and told him that I like talking to him but I don't love him he kinda started pleading that if we can meet for 2 days he will plan everything and he will do every adjustment which idk maybe he would . But I wouldn't be able to meet him anytime soon due to a few reasons and also it's all online so falling in love that to your first love that kinda feels very wrong to me . So I ended it
Idk rn I feel maybe love is not for me or maybe I lack a lot of courage to love . It's a very uncomfortable feeling that I have . And if I want to find love should I have any self respect? Because I wanna be loved in life just for once ?
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