Im 25. I have been really great friends with this guy since my freshmen year of high school. We had a good group of friends that still remain extremely close to this day, so we all see each other quite often.
Growing up, I friend-zoned him hard. He was never someone who had a girlfriend, so the idea of him romantically was extremely difficult to picture. He had showed interest in the past but I had brushed it off, as I was never interested in him as more than a friend.
As the years progressed, however, I deep down pictured us ending up together in the end. It just never seemed like the right time. It wasn’t until about a year and a half ago that we hooked up (drunkenly). In the morning, the whole thing was shocking to me and I pretended it never happened. Which is a shame because we never ended up talking about it.
Then, last November, he got his first serious girlfriend. Which is kind of a big deal for him. But it surprised me how much it affected me. I was instantly so sad and confused. At first, I thought it was just me being a jealous, asshole. I tried my best to move past it and be happy for him.
Now it’s almost 9 months later... and it has gotten progressively worse every time I see him. As well as her. To the point where I end up upset and crying once I leave. In the earlier months I was able to brush it off, since their relationship was still new. But now, I find myself trying to avoid him more and more. I don’t know how to act myself in front of him anymore. He definitely has noticed.
I just would like some honest advice on what I should do. I absolutely hate the idea of getting in between this guy and his relationship. Especially if he’s happy (which is also hard to decipher. He’s very secretive and not an open book whatsoever). Also, the girl is amazing and I can’t even bare to look at her anymore without feeling absolutely horrible.
On another note, I am just scared to tell him how I feel. Because once I do, it’s out there, and I’m exposed. Then - either he doesn’t have any sort of feelings for me or doesn’t see the potential of us, which would be so awkward and possibly ruin our friendship. OR he does see potential, which means possibly beginning a relationship with my best guy friend.. which could also end up ruining our friendship. It’s just so much to think about.
Recently tho, my feelings have just progressed so much and I don’t know what to do. I’m so worried that if I don’t say anything soon to him I’ll miss my chance and then it’ll be too late. I know I’ll always regret it. Please help. Any and all advice is welcome.
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