In my younger years & relationships I've noticed that I have a tendency to act with passion rather than rational a lot. I'm a very emotional person and it can be my down fall.
I was single for a solid year and during that year I reflected on who I was and along with that came looking at what went wrong with relationships that seemed so wonderful at the time and then failed horribly.
Looking back I saw that many times I would immediately tell my partner if i was upset. I followed the rule of never go to bed angry. That meant even small annoying things were discussed. I thought this made us stronger, but in all reality it made for little bickering matches.
I had time to think, and I decided that from now on (assuming it wasn't something huge), if my partner were to do something that annoyed me, bothered me or upset me I would step back, take a deep breath and wait 24 hours. If I was still upset about it in 24 hours I would have a calm discussion with them about how I felt.
Doing this with a new partner worked, not only did I realize that sometimes things annoyed me because I had a long day or was stressed, I also noticed that the 24 hours gave me a chance to figure out why I was mad or upset. It made for calm, rational discussions of why what they did upset me and often brought change and even resolution to problems. Honestly, more often than not I realized that it only bothered me for a short time and I was able to just move on without starting a fight.
I picked 24 hours because if it was truly upsetting it still meant being resolved and not waiting 2 weeks for everything to build and bringing up past wounds a partner knew nothing about during a disagreement about something else.
Hopefully this helps someone else the way it has helped me. Thanks for reading & happy dating.
Tl;dr Wait 24 hours before lashing out over smaller things at your partner. Breathe, reflect & put words to your emotions.
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