Stuck in limbo somewhere between acceptance and rejection, but not really either or? - ATX News Paper

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Saturday, July 14, 2018

Stuck in limbo somewhere between acceptance and rejection, but not really either or?

This might be a bit long if I went into full details, so I'm going to summarize it as briefly as I can. For context, I'm a 23 year old guy, and the person I'm interested is 22 years (agender) She refers to herself as "they", which I respect and refer them as, but for the sake of clarity in explaining, I'll use she/her for now.

So there's a girl I met at an anime convention, and I worked up the courage to talk to her in person during the con along with her friends, and she seems pretty chill. I found out we both followed each other on instagram because we're fellow cosplayers as well. Afterwards, I've messaged back and forth with her and we've had decent talks. I decided to ask her to go out on a date some time, and she agreed. However, a day before the date, she said that she had something come up and asked for a re-schedule. At this point, I wasn't happy but I was like, all right, one more chance wouldn't hurt. So we rescheduled, and lo and behold, she asks for another reschedule!

So at this point, I'm kinda frustrated she's flaking, so I asked her for honesty and asked in a polite way as to why she keeps rescheduling, and if whether she was actually interested or not, otherwise I would leave her alone. However, she surprised me by saying that she is interested but that she has anxiety about meeting people because of the way she identifies herself and that she's really stressed out. She's also a shy person, so that might also be why she's afraid of meeting again in person again?

So to fast forward a bit, I gave her an extension of sorts, but every time I try to set up a day to hang out, she flakes. I ask again a second time a week or so later whether she's truly interested, and that I would leave her alone if she wasn't, but she still reassures me that she is interested and that she doesn't find me too persistent. She acknowledges that it sucks for me to have to keep asking her, but we still can never find a day to meet up.

Like, if I received a clear rejection, I would move on for sure. I know girls sometimes are afraid to reject guys because how creepy/aggressive we can act, but I feel like through all our conversations I've been really chill and I don't ever pressure her to do anything to give off that impression. But the fact that she still talks to me and says she's interested, yet never can seem to find time to hang is just weird.

So what I want to ask is, what should I do? I know the seemingly smart move is just move on and talk to other people, but I also do feel that we have chemistry but they just simply don't feel comfortable atm. I was considering asking a close friend of hers for advice, but I'm afraid that'll also be a bad move and make me seem desperate :/

Sorry for the wall of text, I just wanted to get this out of my chest. Thank you for reading!

submitted by /u/Chromenova
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