so i’ve only ever had one boyfriend and it was a young, toxic relationship. i’m in my third year of college and after a few failed attempts at finding a guy who was right for me, i met a boy (about a year ago) who was a great fit. or so i thought. we first hooked up on new years night 2019 and through the year grew a closer and stronger relationship. we never had the “what are we” talk, but i honestly didn’t have the urge to because i felt secure in the relationship and he made it clear that he had good intentions and cared about me. he is graduating this December and has had a lot of his plate as of recent but i didn’t think that any of it had to do with me. i did my best to not put more pressure on him and to just keep things simple between us although i have major feelings for him. (i’ve met his dad, we’ve gone on trips out of town together, all his friends like me, we communicate any issues we have with each other in a healthy way) it felt like a dream honestly i had never been so happy with the way things were going in a relationship. five days ago he had something big happen to him that made him think a lot about his life. the morning after that i let him know something he did that hurt my feelings because i just wanted to get it off my chest, but he just ignored me and then when i asked why he was ignoring me he said he wished i would “respect his need for space” when he never asked me for space in the first place and i was pretty taken aback. i went out of town this weekend and we went two days without speaking at all because i wanted to give him the space he asked for. whenever i got back into town he came over to my house and basically told me that i deserve someone who can give me 100% and that he can’t give me what i want right now with everything he has going on in his life. i was so hurt and confused that i told him i understood and that i’m not mad and even asked if he wanted to be friends because i just genuinely want him in my life at any capacity and if it can’t be a relationship i was willing to give friendship a try. he told me that we can’t be friends. after he left i was extremely upset and just didn’t know what i did wrong or how i could’ve driven him away. i have have so many things that i wish i would’ve said when he was in front of me telling me he couldn’t give me what i wanted. like- what is it that you think i want? why can’t you give that to me? what have i done wrong? is this easy for you? i wish i would’ve just picked his brain and gotten more clarity as to why he wanted to end things with me. i was just so upset at the time that i had no words. i didn’t want to break down or get mad and make it easier for him to leave. i hope that he regrets what he’s done and misses me and comes crawling back once i’ve already moved on. and at the same time i want to call him, beg for an answer or for him to just stay and not leave me like this. i can’t stand the thought of not seeing him ever again. this happened literally last night so all these emotions are still very fresh and i came here to vent but to also get some feedback and possible clarity. what do you guys think? should i just accept this and move on? is he an asshole? do i tell him i’d like to talk again so that i can have better clarity? how do i find peace with this? i still care about him so much and honestly am not mad but just having a hard time understanding what he was feeling because i never got a true explanation. have any of you been on either side of this sort of scenario? honestly just any feedback would be soothing
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