Mostly, I know that I have a tendency to be stand offish. I know that it sometimes makes people bad, I know that it prevents me from being approached by people, and I’m actively working on not doing that. I know that my need for a lot more space and a lot less physical contact from others has caused problems in other relationships and I want to actively work on this before entering another.
HOWEVER. I also know that I can sometimes come on too strong. Especially when I stop being nervous around a person or first contact doesn’t make me feel nervous. I know that it can be a lot and I know that it’s unhealthy.
My problem is, I’m having a lot of trouble figuring out a middle ground. Part of this is due to needing direct feedback from people and knowing a lot of indirect, very passive aggressive people.
I don’t want to chase people I want to date (or even be friends with) by coming on too strong or being so avoidant and standoffish that nobody wants to engage with me. Anything even like an notch or two down is tricky for me.
Anyone else deal with this? What do you suggest?
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