To sum it up, my boyfriend (19M) and I (19F) have been together for one year. We are both college students. Our relationship was rather healthy and happy at first, however, I got into a serious car accident late November 2019 which caused me to withdraw from the university. Things started to go rocky since I was no longer able to drive (suffered from ptsd + depression + had to get metal implanted into my body since my bone shattered). I came back to school in January 2020 for Winter quarter and things were going great, with the exception of me constantly being overwhelmed with everything as I still suffered from a concussion and was still healing mentally and physically from the accident. It was hard, but he was supportive.
Fast forward a few months, to March 2020, I reinstalled Tinder to delete my card. My friends were on my account and wanted to troll boys on there, and I told him about this and he was fine with it. I noticed that his profile location updated so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. We do not have any trust issues as we both know each other's phone passwords, however, I do admit that while he was showering I checked to see if Tinder was on his phone. It wasn't. I confronted him about this and he lied saying that he was no longer on Tinder but eventually he came clean saying that he did reinstall it. I broke up with him then and there. He kept Facetime calling me the next few days and texting me to talk so he can explain why he was on Tinder. I continued to ignore him.
1.5-2 weeks later, I texted him allowing him to talk. I could not get the thought of him being on Tinder off my mind, and it made me wonder why he was back on Tinder. He was extremely loyal throughout the relationship and it never crossed my mind that he could have cheated. The next day we Facetimed mid-April, and that was when we started to talk things out. Turns out he reinstalled Tinder because of a kickback his friends had after finals week when they all wanted to look at old messages they used to troll with. This was a matter of a lack of communication.
The idea of getting back together came up. Initially, he said he no longer wanted to be in a relationship because through those two weeks I ignored him, he had to accept that the relationship was really over already. Plus quarantine would it harder to work on our relationship since we wouldn't be able to see each other anymore and his sleep schedule started getting messed up (8AM sleep time and 8PM wake up time, usually). However, at the end of the call, he said he will take time to think about it and pinky promised he will think about it. The Facetime lasted around 7 hours from 10 PM to 5 AM. It was nice, felt like things were back to normal. I even fell asleep and he was still with me when I woke up ten minutes later. We still exchanged a lot of I love yous throughout the Facetime.
Three days after the Facetime call, he followed up with me. He said, "I hope you are okay, please give me more time." This was on April 15th. I said "I am doing well, take your time :) in response. Since then, we only had a small conversation on his birthday and I have not heard an update on his decision.
It has been around three weeks, what should I do? Should I confront him? or should I give him more time to work on himself like he wanted to? Online classes have been stressful, and so is staying at home due to COVID-19. However, three weeks does seem a while to take time to himself (at least in my eyes, it could be different for anyone). I cannot imagine losing him right now without giving our relationship another try. I love him a lot. Thank you for your help :)
EDIT: I do want to add that this has constantly been on my mind, even when I'm sleeping. Yesterday I could not stop looking at old photos and videos. Also, I would like to mention that my picture is still on his Instagram and we have not stopped sharing location or anything (not sure if that indicates anything) Any opinion/advice would be helpful.
EDIT pt 2: I also wanted to add that a week before I originally ended things with him because of the Tinder miscommunication, I wanted a break for finals week since I was still overwhelmed about everything relating to the car accident, and the toxic apartment I was in. He was really sad and really didn't want me to so I decided not to. Also, since then, I was able to work on myself mentally and physically and I already feel a lot better, aside from this situation with him :)
[link] [comments]
from Dating Advice https://ift.tt/2AduOJx
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment