Helloooo reddit,
I've (26F) recently decided to move on from a toxic casual relationship that I was in where I felt very undervalued by the guy (29M) I was with. I won't go into too much detail, because it's rather painful for me to recount at the moment (though I'm open to revealing what happened in PMs), but I am still very sexually attracted to this person to the point where it's very difficult to imagine myself sexually with other people.
Though this relationship was casual, I discovered that I wanted a serious relationship out of in (one where I feel valued and empowered, rather than not good enough). I knew for a while that he didn't want anything serious, and I was on the same page... until he told me about new girls he was seeing and I became jealous. I felt naive not seeing it coming. I was always there for him through difficult situations, but rarely received any care in return.
I'm very confident about my appearances, but this whole experience has given me a lot of self doubt. Feeling not good enough for someone I loved for over a year can gave me a lot of self doubt and distraction from my other life's ambitions.
We are still friends to this day, and even though I have admitted my feelings for him and he tells me about all of the other people he dates, I am still wanting to be with him, and I'm tired of it. I dug myself a hole that I'm not climbing to get out of.
I'm wanting to date multiple people at once and not put all of my eggs in one basket, but this experience has made me really picky and I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of great guys because of this mindset I'm in. Does anyone know what this sick, twisted feeling is like? Am I broken from dating?
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