I (30f) have been seeing this guy (32m) for 2 months casually. Were intimate and everything. Then a few days ago, i realized that i’m catching real feelings for him. I’ve never done casual dating and multiple dating, and when im dating someone, i usually just focus on 1 person and if we dont work, thats when i try to find a new one. Timing, a close friend of mine matched him on tinder and he actually chatted her and began flirting with her and asking her number. I felt numb but i reigned my feelings in cause i know were not exclusive. He then began saying to my friend that he’s dating someone (me) but dont see potential etc. My heart hurts reading it and told her to just stop and unmatch him. That night, we went out for a date and i waited for him to tell me that he sees no potential for us but NOTHING. He acted like normal and even suggested future dates.
When i confronted him (not about tinder), he told me that he has only been seeing me since our 3rd date but is still active in the apps and chatting sporadically with other women, which isnt true cause my friend said he says “morning” all the time and asking if shes free on the weekend. OUCH. And that he still wants to see me casually and see where it goes. i was so confused cause is this how dating is now? And how can he say that he just wanted casual when i told him i was catching feelings for him? Were my feelings invalid for him? He didnt even say sorry..like nothing
So i said since he wanted to keep his options open, i need to remove myself cause the thought of him flirting with other women hurts me. I cant stop my feelings and pretend its okay. Anyways, i just texted him this and its quite long and very pleasant. No harsh words or anything. But then after, he just replied “Dumped ☹️” . It hurts cause after all what ive said and professing my feelings for him, thats all he had to say.
Am i being too immature about this? Should i have just continued to date him casually and wait it out? Am i too old fashioned for the modern dating rules now? 😞
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