How can I[21f] start dating again as an adult ? - ATX News Paper

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Tuesday, October 5, 2021

How can I[21f] start dating again as an adult ?

Hi, it's my first post. So, since early 2019 (when i was a 19 y/o) , i have not been in a serious relationship or casual one. My last breakup (2 years of relationship) was hard to overcome so i decided to take time to heald and work on some aspects of myself i recognized were not so healthy (low self esteem that ended up in insecurities, some affective responsabilitie issues, etc).

For that time (2 years), i decided i didn't wanted to be in a relationship in order not to hurt whoever i might be with, or hurt me. I used to think that i need to be some way to love and be loved. Now, thanks to therapy, i know it's not like that and i have worked on my issues to the level i think i'm ready to be in a relationship again. However, i know that for that to happen i have to start knowing new people, making friends, being more vulnerable with the ones that i have, etc.

But it's hard. Having ignored this dimension in my life for a long time and specially in some of the years that are more "datetable", i feel like i know almost nothing about how to date as an adult (21 y/o), specially in causal relationships. I have tried to approach to a couples of boys i liked (one of them being a friend). Didn't worked. For now, i think i came on too strong ( i told one of them that i liked them ) and i'm trying to work on that.

I guess, what im saying is that i feel like i don't know the dating dynamics as an adult: how much time to take to answer a message?, is he interested on me or just being friendly?, how can i show interested w/o been seen as desperate? etc etc. So, i would like to know what first steps should i take to understand more how to date as an adult.

Thanks and sorry for the testament haha

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