So I’ve been online dating for a bit after getting out of a 10 year relationship 2 years ago and have met some really cool people but I seem to have this pattern of engaging, having a great time and feeling good about it, then communication from the other person slowly falling off to just straight being ghosted. I’m leaning towards it’s because I’m very casual and sweet, so they possibly do not feel the need to “let me down”. I also have a hard time setting communication boundaries because I don’t want to come off as too much, when I’m very very ok with casual dating, fwb, etc. (I’ve been been exploring ENM/polyamory) I’m definitely a lover girl/naturally get along well with most people and can have a good time but also totally get light hearted romances and don’t need high daily communication or anything, just like responding to a simple text within a week would be nice. Even when I’ve brought this up to the last few guys I’ve dated, just saying that I am fine with initiating hangouts, etc but often get ignored and then sudden communication out of nowhere (usually not even acknowledging my previous texts) and that I’m not really down for that and just want to stay updated with how the other person feels but I’m still facing this problem? I’m so fine if someone losing interest or being busy but it’s like why not just say that? I do have a huge rejection sensitivity and feel really fucking stupid sending the “what are we, where is this going” text because I don’t want to give the impression I’m looking for something more serious than what it is, I just wanna know what’s up!!!!! My ideal situation at this point is just sweet friends with benefits that have good communication. And I’ve said that!
I guess I’m asking for tips, advice on setting these boundaries and expectations in a firm but causal way where I’m not asking for a huge commitment or anything, I’m just wanting to feel like I know what’s even going on between us. I’m 29 and online dating for the first time and it’s just been a hell hole to be honest.
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