I (19/m) am deply in love with a friend of mine (18/f). Just some background info for you guys: We‘ve been friends since 8th grade (which is now like for 6 years ), she was also my dancing partner at our school‘s dance back then and I always had some kind of feelings for her but back then I was young and didn‘t really care about relationships so i didn‘t really pursue anything. Back then she also had a boyfriend which made my feelings go away so everything was fine and we also didn‘t do too much together. But back at the end of 2021 when we were on our classes last school trip before the exams began, we shared a kiss. But it was more of a playful one, where she had an ice cube in her mouth and dared me to take it out without my hands(I have to say we all were extremely drunk in the bar). But at that time one of my friends was pursuing a reltionship with her so i backed away and tried to ignore it. But that „kiss“ somehow ignited something within me and ever since then i can‘t get her out of my head. My friend didn‘t get into a relationship with her but she got together with someone else pretty much a year ago. In that time I didn‘t pursue anything because I just didn‘t have the balls for it and I also didn‘t want to destroy our friendship we had. But I regret it. I just want to be with her. We are pretty close with each other and we also meet up from time to time because i love hanging out with her and i always have a blast with her. We also always do some playful and sexual jokes with each other but nothing more. But now the problem: What the hell should i do? On the one hand i am with for her for being in a healthy relationship, but I also just want to be with her. She is the most beautiful person (inside and outside) I‘ve ever met and yeah I am just lost and don‘t know what to do. (You might have figured that out by the way I wrote this text completely criss crossing infos)
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