I’m a virgin (31F) by choice. I was waiting to have a connection with someone who I could be sure cared about my well being. Someone who wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings or mislead me in any way, and overall, cared about my mental health. It was never about religion or lack of “opportunity”, (sex is probably the easiest thing to get.)
I’m convinced I’m not going to find that connection anytime soon. I have too many unhealed traumas that make me have low self esteem and low self worth. This causes me to choose guys with manipulative tendencies.
I’m doing a lot to work on my issues so I can meet kinder men. The thing is, my libido is high. I was fine with waiting before, but lately I’ve been craving sex. I am considering looking for someone I’m not at all serious about. I’ve met many men at bars who would be ideal.
However, I’m very ignorant when it comes to what happens after sex and that’s keeping me from doing anything. When I’m horney I’m all for it, when I’m not, it is something I would never be ok with doing. I also value my energy and the cleanliness of my soul. I’ve heard of post-nut clarity, but is that like depression that comes after having sex from a primitive desire?
That’s my main concern, that I will feel gross and disappointed in myself for giving into my urges after having sex with someone who I don not have an emotional connection with.
More than anything I value that emotional connection and I would love to wait, but the more I date, the more discouraged I get. I’m starting to think I should just settle. Guys I have dated go as far as pretending to want a relationship only to try convince me to have sex, might as well date someone who is honest from the get go.
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