boring and stable (compatiblity) vs "high" of love and focus on feeling more than "checklist"?
My first girlfriend of 6 years was boring and stable, I don't rly think we loved each other but we never fightning and we were advancing in the same direction and same lifegoal, we just didnt have anything to talk about to each other at the restaurent for example. I don't think we loved each other, jsut that we were compatible. I am glad it ended.
I met a women been with her for 2 years, being with her is like a dream, I am "high" on something when around her. I could look at ther smiling all day and that could be main main hobby until I die and I would probably die happy. BUT we aren't really compatible...she has 0 saving (32yo), and doesn't plan on saving, she likes to live like she will die tomorrow everyday. At the smae time I am an accountant and I save too much and don't go on adventure and don't take much risk, so being with her is like a HUGE adventure all the time and we have so much fun, but at the same time I try to look at us longterm, and not having saving or plan on budgeting makes me so nervous... she wants a house, a boat, a vacation home and 2 kids....yet she has like 35$ in her cheque account... she also smoke pot daily, I dont, i dont think it really bothers me, but if we ahve kids I wouldn't want her to smoke in front of the kids. She also drinks a lot and spend on frivolous stuff. Like we can't just go to the restaurent and buy each a palte at 20-25$ each. She must take a drink and entree and order a botle of wine, often making a 50$ diner to a 150$+ evening. She also doesn't do much chores at home...I hope this I could fix with more talking but there is always a "what if" it doesn't get better and we have kids and she doesn't even d 20% of the chore or the children care?
basicaly, I am thinking of quitting to maybe try to find a balance between comptability and this "love" feeling I have when I am win her... BUT at the sametime, am I crazy?!?! im 32yo, and i've never loved anyone even a bit close to the feeling I have with this women. Is it okay to accept and let go of all financial goal, and idea of 50/50 chores and accept that the cost of this feeling is this?
I don't think i'll never love anyone as close even remotely to the feeling I have with this person.
Also I am not inexperienced in dating this is my 4rd serious relationship (2y-2y-6y-2y) and have dated plenty of other women for 1week to 3month but not seriously. Had maybe around 60 serious date in my life over the span of 15years. and I feel I am starting to be old to start a family...32yo, most women my age of the biological clock ticking quite heavily at the moment...
Basically, I need to choose, and live with the decision I am about to make, either leave and try to find a more balanced between (compatiblity and chemistry (love)) or stay and let go of my idea of financial responsability and having a 50/50 partners in chores. I always thought I would meet a responsible women who doesn't smoke or party too much with similar financial goal, etc....but Maybe i am too "risk adverse!" and i felt in love with this women because she is adventurous and makes me appreciate and enjoy live together...
aynone has ever been in a similar situation ?!
I havent sleep for 2 weeks since its the only think I am thinking about, and I need someone to tell me I am either crazy for turning my back on true love or I am crazy for keeping a women who leave her clothes on the floor all over the bedroom and havent empty a dishwasher in 2 months ?!
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