Last year, I met a guy on an app. Neither of us listed specific intentions, but when he asked, I told him I wasn’t looking for a hookup buddy—just dating and meeting people. He said he was “going with the flow.”
We hit it off right away. Our first date lasted hours—we talked about everything, had great chemistry, and hooked up (though we didn’t have sex). It felt playful and instantly comfortable. On our second date, he told me his mom had just been diagnosed with a terminal illness and might seem distracted or need to go home a lot. I said I understood and was there if he needed to talk.
We kept texting, but I was always the one to initiate plans. He often postponed or canceled—sometimes for work, mostly to visit his mom—but stayed engaged over text. About a month in, we had sex, and he said I was the hottest girl he’d ever been with. That’s when I asked about his inconsistency, and he seemed surprised, saying he thought I knew he was only looking for something casual.
The last time we saw each other, we had dinner and hooked up again. He said he’d see me the following week and texted me when he got home, but never followed up. A few months later, I ended things, saying I understood he had a lot going on but didn’t want to feel like the only one putting in effort. He thanked me and said he’d reach out when things got better. Months later, I found out his mom had passed and sent my condolences. He replied kindly—and then put up new profiles looking for “fun, casual dates” and "figuring out relationship goals."
Around the same time, I started going to a new gym and got close with the trainers and owner. Last week, they posted a goofy video of me on their Instagram, and I noticed he was the only mutual follower. A few days later, the gym owner told me he’d bought a 4-pack of classes and was coming in—at the same time as me. Sure enough, we ran into each other. He was polite but clipped, kept sneaking glances at me during class, and gave a brief wave when I left.
That was this morning, and I have no idea what to make of it. It’s hard to see it as a coincidence, but if he went out of his way to show up, why act so weird—and why hasn’t he texted me?
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