I am a 30 year old female. I have had a few guys show interest in me in the past, but I was not interested in the guys who showed interest. I'm also extremely socially awkward, so another reason I didn't pursue anyone is because it never went anywhere past the initial conversation. I scared most men away with my awkwardness. All my friends have always been girls. I'm not the most gorgeous girl, but some people have told me they found me pretty in the past. I've been told I could have had a boyfriend since a long time ago if I wasn't so awkward. Well anyways, I gave up a few years ago and accepted I would never date anyone since I couldn't fix my personality.Also, I started having a few health issues that got me depressed. But lately, I have been wanting sex so badly. I don't know why I can't stop thinking about it. I've never had a high sex drive but lately I've been wanting it non stop. I even thought about hiring a male escort. I am embarrassed because I don't know if men will react weirdly if they know I have never had sex or been in a relationship. I can't see myself ever getting in a relationship because of how I act (I look down a lot, I stutter when I speak to people I don't know, I just do a lot of weird gestures or mannerisms because I get nervous ,especially talking to men ) and I won't ask random guys for sex. Besides my awkwardness, would being a virgin at my age be another strike against me to find a partner or at least someone to have sex with??
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