She says she loves me but doesn’t believe in a future with me. How do I even process this?
I’m a 31M and I’ve been in a serious relationship for about a year with a woman in her late 20s. She recently ended things, saying she “doesn’t have clarity” about us and wants to focus on moving abroad for her career. What’s breaking me is that she still says she loves me. She says she loves me deeply, but she doesn’t trust our future together. For context: I don’t hold a degree yet, but I’m already enrolled in a degree program now and working on it.I run my own business and I’m doing well financially. I’ve been planning for marriage and to build a stable life.I’ve always believed love means figuring things out together.But she seems to doubt my ability to handle future finances, her expenses, and even her family’s responsibilities once we’re married. She hasn’t directly said I’m “not enough,” but I feel it between her words.On top of that, there’s this pattern with people from her past that I can’t fully understand:She stayed in touch with her toxic ex up until recently (she “finally blocked” him).There was also a few Bumble dates before we got serious. But one guy helped her get a job, and she’s still in touch with him even though she says he She admits she has trouble cutting people off even those she doesn’t want in her life anymore.I don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if these are emotional boundary issues on her part.What’s eating me alive is this question: How do you love someone so deeply, yet not choose them? She says it’s not about me, that it’s about her career and independence. But I can’t shake this feeling of not being enough as a man, as a partner, as someone who would have done anything to make it work.Has anyone here been through something similar where love wasn’t enough because of future plans or doubts??How do you process this and move forward?
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