I finally fell in love… and now he’s the one pulling away. - ATX News Paper

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Friday, July 11, 2025

I finally fell in love… and now he’s the one pulling away.

In my 30 years of existence, I’ve never had a boyfriend. Not because I’m undesirable—I actually get a fair share of suitors—but because I never truly fell in love with anyone. I’m a strong, independent woman, and I guess I just never felt the urge to be in a relationship for the sake of it.

Still, I’ve always wished to experience love. I’ve been trying to be more open—giving chances even to guys I’m not initially attracted to—just to see if feelings might develop. But I always end up realizing I can’t force it… except for this one guy.

He’s a foreigner (an “afam,” as we say), and we’ve only been talking online. We’ve been communicating for almost three years now. I kept praying to God, asking, “Please let me fall in love with this man,” because honestly, it was hard to keep replying when I didn’t have feelings.

But I kept entertaining him, not because of money (disclaimer: in all those three years, I never asked for a cent—I’m not that type), but because he’s genuinely a good man.

Then one day, I had a dream about him. When I woke up, it was like something clicked—I felt like I was in love. It was weird and out of nowhere, but suddenly I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Every day. He was constantly on my mind, which was never the case before.

It felt like my prayer had been answered. But just as I started falling for him, he began growing cold. It hurts. I hate this feeling. I’ve never begged for anyone’s attention before, and now I feel like I’m spiraling.

I want to pray again, this time asking God to take these feelings away. I don’t like chasing someone. Maybe this is karma—maybe it’s because I was always the one who replied late or ghosted others. Now I’m getting a taste of my own medicine.

How do I remove these feelings? Any advice would be appreciated.

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