Hey there,
So I've been here a few times, browsing through posts and whatnot, but never really thought to post here. I guess it's finally my time to kinda vent/seek out some aid.
So a little about me, I'm (M) turning 25 in a few months, never had a girlfriend, really if i'm going to be completely honest I can't really say I've even been on a proper date before. I've had lunch/dinner with girls one on one before, but it's never been more than two friends wanting to catch up or something to that effect. Closest thing I had to a girlfriend was this girl I "dated" my freshmen year in college. We were constantly flirting and we told each other that we loved each other almost every day. But then I realized that all the while she was seeing other guys and to the best of my knowledge doing the same thing with them? I dunno, I was 18 at the time so what did I know about relationships. The greatest zinger about it though, was that she "broke up" with me on my 19th birthday. Kinda ruined the day haha
I've tried dating apps, but if my experience in the past 3 years have been anything to go off of, it ain't too great haha. I know this is a weird and probably bad comparison, but take me and my older sister for example. She's 10 years older than me and recently divorced. She got on Tinder about a year ago and has had varying degrees of success. Once we were hanging out and she said something along the lines of "gee, I haven't been on tinder for a while. But now that i'm back, I feel like i'm not getting as many matches as I used to." So of course I asked her how many she was getting. She responded "so in the two days i've been back on the app........I've gotten like 50 matches? I guess I haven't been missing out on matches haha". Though I didn't say anything at the time, I remember thinking to myself that I had been on the app for over 2 years at the time and could count on maybe one hand how many matches I've gotten.
I guess the funny (funny? ironic? At this point i'm not sure anymore) thing is that it's not that i'm *that* socially awkward. I'm actually pretty decent at making friends. I like to think that i'm a pretty likable person. I realize I'm treading dangerously close to "nice guy" territory with my wording, but I assure you that i'm not like that. I've always had problems when it comes to crossing the threshold of friend to something more than friend, but I've never forced anything or raged about how "I was nice to them but they don't like me back" etc.
I've been to two of my friend's wedding in the past 3 years, one of which I was a groomsmen, and will be the Best Man in another one near the end of the year. I know you're not supposed to compare yourself to others, but sometimes I can't help but do it. I mean, I'm about to start my 3rd year of law school. So I understand that that's not the most "dating friendly" environment. But I'd also be lying if I said that I wasn't a little envious. Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for all my friends getting married, but I can't help but feel like i've become the perpetually "single" friend of the group. I was venting to a friend about this very issue a while back, and they said something along the lines of "oh don't worry, you're not the single friend. You've been single for so long that it's more background information at this point". Honestly not sure how to interpret that line.
So i've come to you reddit, not really sure what to expect. If you took the time to listen to my story, thanks! I realize that i'm still young and still have time (as my friends and family have been telling me), but again, can't help but start comparing myself to other people and lament over the experiences I've seemed to missed out on. Dating apps are seemingly a bust, and law school isn't the best place to meet people/find times to date, so maybe I should just focus on school and worry about relationship stuff later when I'm 26 and graduated. Who knows
Either way, thanks for hearing me out Reddit.
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