My girlfriend of just under a year is the best thing to ever happen to me. We haven't seen each other since the semester ended over two months ago, but we Facetime almost every night and things have seemed good. About a week ago though she told me that some random guy has been hitting on her, and assured me everything was ok and she was trying to get him to stop talking to her. She told me she made a reddit post with a throwaway account to ask for advice, but she seemed hesitant or uncomfortable about the subject. Something felt a little off, so I checked her reddit account, as I snooped a little and found the username. I know this isn't healthy behavior, and I've done nothing like it before. Her account had only one post, on /r/offmychest which said this.
"As the title and my username reveal, I’ve been feeling a bit anxious for the past few days. So, I’ve been with my boyfriend for about five months and we’re currently in a stable, loving relationship. I can envision a future with him and I love him very much. Yesterday, a male acquaintance who I briefly met a week ago sent me an Instagram follow request. I thought it was harmless to accept his follow request, so I did. There are many pictures of my boyfriend and I together on my account, making it pretty obvious that I’m not single.
Almost immediately after I accepted his follow request, he started Insta messaging me. We’ve mainly just been getting to know each other a little better (e.g. jobs, education, hobbies, etc.). We were talking about the fact that we both enjoy going fishing and hunting. After a while, though, some of his messages became a bit flirty. He said that I was very attractive and cute. I thanked him for the compliment, but I didn’t flirt back. I’ve noticed that he responds really quickly whenever I message back, almost as if he is staring at his phone waiting for the next text.
Shortly after, he invited me to come over to his apartment for dinner and drinks. He thinks it’ll be fun to get drunk together. This made me feel a bit uneasy, because he knows that I have a boyfriend, but decided to flirt with me and ask me out anyway. I don’t feel comfortable going on something that feels like a “date” with a guy who isn’t my boyfriend. I also don’t want to be drunk and alone with this guy, who I have known for a week.
I also told my sister about the situation. I have told her numerous times that I would feel guilty hanging out one-on-one with this guy, especially because he seems to think that we would be on a date. She just seems to brush aside my relationship and suggests that I hang out with him soon. She wants me to consider dating other guys and to be open-minded with this guy. I have only ever seriously dated my current boyfriend, and my sister suggested that he could be a way for me to get more dating experience. She also admires the fact that he has a full-time job and a master’s degree.
I kinda gave into her pressure and told this guy that we could go out to dinner sometime. However, I’m regretting saying this to him. I’m really anxious about the thought of going on a “date” with him. He obviously wants to see me soon, but I’m not so sure. What do I do now?"
It wasn't nearly as bad as all the things I had envisioned, but it definitely makes me feel sad and somewhat betrayed. She seems uncomfortable about the idea, but the fact that she is considering going on a "date" to drink with some random guy - based on the passing comments of her sister - gives me a terrible feeling in my stomach, and I know I'm not going to get any sleep tonight. Why does she need dating experience if she envisions a future with me? Does she want to just expose herself to new men who have their lives put together and see if she prefers that? I'm sorry for the long post, I just really don't know how to feel right now and needed to put this out there.
I will delete this in the morning, as she browses reddit and when we have a conversation I want it to be face to face.
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