I've had this issue growing up my entire life. Grew up in an abusive home environment where I just learned how to take it and never dared stand up to my mother. Been bullied majority of my childhood and practically did the same thing, hardly ever fighting back or employing measures to deal with the bullies. Afraid of going against a certain majority's opinion and would rather conform to the general consensus than state what I believe is right.
Yesterday, I went to a school (Im 17) acquaintance's party with my gf. Met this guy who was quite built and extremely cocky/confident. When socialized with him within a group of ppl, he kept announcing how he's an "alpha male" and his plans for tattooing it on his bicep. I got the impression that he was super conceited but despite that revelation, I continued to occasionally interact with him throughout the night but spending most of the time with my gf and other few friends. A few times when we were separated I noticed him talking to her and it seemed somewhat flirtatious but I disregarded it. My girl and I ended up staying over and took one of the spare bedrooms for the night.
Fast forward to this morning, my girlfriend and I come out of the room with her wearing nothing but my shirt (which is like a dress to her) and panties. The guy from last night is sitting in the living room so we go over and chill with him. I decide to cook up breakfast in the kitchen which is practically in the same room as the living room and hear them talking. It's mostly just laughing and joking around which doesn't bother me at all really. I come out with eggs and bacon for everyone and begin eating at the table, a few feet away from them. Halfway through, I notice the guy attempting to tickle my girlfriend while she playfully fights him off, telling him to stop. He then proceeds to cheekily squeeze her thighs, all this happening meters away from me, with him being aware that that is my girlfriend.
I was quite shocked really that he'd do that and felt extremely uncomfortable by this. My inner-self was screaming to go over and intervene but my instinct just wouldn't allow me to. Instead I just sat there, dumb-founded, silently watching them. He eventually backed down and they continued to talk for a little bit as I'm still sitting at the table, trying to grasp what I just witnessed and slowly beginning to comprehend how pathetically I reacted to such an ordeal. After another few minutes of them talking, my gf got up and came over to me, gave me a kiss and sat on my lap as she started to eat the meal. I kind of snapped out of it at that point but I know she knows I witnessed that entire situation and did absolutely nothing about it.
Soon, the guy left and my gf and I hung out for another few hrs at the house. I acted like everything is normal and tried to remain suave throughout that whole time by making jokes and teasing/flirting around with her but I just couldn't shake off my mind what had happened earlier. It was humiliating to think about. I still remember the way she glanced at me in the midst of it all and I just plainly stared back. She hasn't spoken of it and neither have I. I can't help but feel like a complete failure. I portrayed just how weak I am and how easily I succumb to pressure, something she doesn't know much about considering her limited knowledge of my traumatic past. I'm sure she feels disappointed by the fact that I didn't stand up for and claim my woman and I can tell her mannerisms have slightly changed towards me.
I can't stop myself from incessantly thinking about that moment and envisioning myself saying all sorts of different things to him but all it does is make me feel even shittier about myself. Every time I do it, I picture myself looking so heroic, just to return to reality and beat myself up even more about what I actually did. How do I stop being so passive? How do I stop being the way I am?
EDIT: Just to inform you guys, I know for a fact my girlfriend wouldn't cheat on me. I don't want to blame this situation onto her but I can't deny that she played a role in it. She may just love the attention and the fact that other guys find her desirable. Maybe she's just as unconfrontational as I am and didn't want to make a scene. I also speculate that she may have been doing it to see whether I'd intervene which I didn't. I can't be entirely sure about what her reasoning for this could be.
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