This post might get a lot of flack & trigger a few people, but sometimes, things need to be said so that guys understand that, when women reject you?
It’s not often about you. She’s just knee jerking and putting up her defenses to protect herself.
That’s because she learnt early on that if she gives a man her time, it’s an investment. And sometimes she makes the wrong investment where the guy doesn’t respect her boundaries by taking things too far.
The first time I got called ‘sexy’? I was eleven years old.
Standing on a Balinese beach with my parents on a holiday and a guy said, ‘Hey sexy baby’.
ELEVEN!
So I went through much of my teens, twenties & thirties on the defensive of any man who showed interest in me (since then I’ve done a lot of inner work to heal my own issues of powerless around this)
Women believe that shutting a man down quickly is the only way they get to keep their power & feel safe (it’s not healthy to live in this fight/flight mindset & screws a woman's love life ... but many don’t know that so still operate from this paradigm, and you’re going to be interacting with these types - so we might as well add them in).
A woman needs to discern quickly whether you’re the guy who’d be great for a conversation, bore her to tears with fishing stories … or try to grab her boob.
And she’ll make a snap judgement based on your walk, posture, facial expressions, appearance and overall vibe (THIS is the most important thing).
So if you’re a single guy and your greatest hope is to get the close intimacy you’re craving with a woman, it’s helpful understand this psychology;
That any guy who looks like he’s coming over for a conversation will often trigger her fight flight response. And she’ll have already decided a course of action based on the vibe she gets from you.
And all you need to do is tweak a few things in your mindset & actions that’ll get you in the right vibe ... and make her feel safe to interact with you.
Here are 4 powerful ways to approach a woman confidently & respectfully, so you don't get rejected;
1. Slow Down
When you’re nervous, everything in your mind & body speed up. Your thinking processes go on high alert which floods your body with cortisol.
So slow down your entire being. Put the voices in your head on slow mo, slow down your breathing and get present in the moment. This will take you out of fight/flight and being you back to being yourself.
2. Get The Idea Of A Wife, Girlfriend Or Getting Laid Out Of Your Head
If you’ve got an agenda, it’ll show. The pressure you put on yourself to get a result will come across and she’ll feel this massive pressure because you’re projecting it.
So instead, focus on having fun and meeting great people. Trust that you WILL meet someone, but to make that happen, you need to let go of your agenda.
That'll change the way you act around women & they'll respond to you more positively.
3. Think About How You Like Being Sold Things
People LOVE to buy things when they think it was their idea. The best salespeople in the world know that. So base the way you treat ladies on the way you like being treated by good salespeople.
4. Build The Know, Like, Trust Factor
As a follow on from #3 – the best salesperson builds the ‘Know Like Trust’ factor with a prospect. So do very little ‘selling’ and instead be the kind of guy who values himself & deems himself worthy while also getting to know more about her. A man who shows an interest in what she's got to say is very refreshing ... because a lot don't.
For example, you reading this is you getting to know me. Because I’ve weaved some of my own experience in here you might start to like me and as you read more you might start to trust me (or not lol).
It’s the same with dating. Think with a long game mindset – where every woman you meet, you’re investing time & energy for her to know, like & trust you.
You’re not ‘chasing’ in this way. You’re in a centered energy where you know that good things come to those who manage their mindset.
And when you do, you’ll never get rejected again.
Ains :)
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