Idk how difficult it is for me to even write this here, and I really don’t want to rethink about it again. But I genuinely need advice.
We are both in our early 20s. We had a relationship of 2 years and a friendship of 3 years. This was our first serious relationship (at least as far as I know). Our relationship had a lot of ups and downs. We cared for each other, but we also argued a lot.
She used to think my care was controlling or wrong sometimes for example, I didn’t accept an expensive gift from her because it wasn’t her own money but her parents and i really don’t want her to spend that much on me’. She is someone who really believes in third person opinions, while I am the opposite. I never liked ranting about her to my friends, but she always took advice from her friends often biased, because she never told them the full story or my side.
Still, we truly loved each other. I genuinely wanted a future with her.
One day she called me and said she had feelings for some guy she had liked for the past 1.5 - 2 years, but she said it was just “affection” and nothing more. I tried to convince myself of that.
After a few days, I somehow got access to her device for some time. I saw chats with her best friend where she was talking about me and also about that guy. That’s when I found out she was putting Instagram stories visible only to him (hidden from everyone else, including me).
I also heard an audio where she said she met that guy and they exchanged numbers, and she sounded very excited. The next day after their first meeting, she told me again that she had “affection” for someone, but she never revealed who it was.
Later, I found out through her Reddit posts that they had made out, and she described it as intense, even mentioning it happened in a semi-public place. (the next day of telling me about those feelings)
I confronted her. She first denied everything, but after I showed her screenshots, she admitted it. That guy didn’t even want anything serious he just wanted something casual (FWB).
I broke up with her and blocked her everywhere.
After that, she and her friend kept reaching out to me, saying she regrets everything. She also started saying she was self harming and gave suicidal threats. She even accused me indirectly of things like creating fake accounts or leaking her photos, which I would never do.
After a few days of all this, I unblocked her just to calm the situation, but I clearly told her I cannot trust her and cannot continue the relationship. She said she would try everything to gain my trust.
Just 3 days later, she told me she was going out with a guy (a friend of a friend) for street food. She said she would go at 8 PM. I called her at 9 PM, and she said she was on a call with her girl best friend. I told her to call me back once she was done.
At 10:30 PM, I messaged again, and then she said she is with that guy. She said she would call me by 11 PM, but she finally called at 12:30 AM after reaching back home.
That was it for me. I told her I cannot continue this anymore. My mental and emotional health is completely disturbed.
I blocked her again from everywhere, and she has started the same cycle again of messages, pressure, emotional breakdowns.
I genuinely don’t know what to do.
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