Am I preemptively rejecting people before giving them a real chance?
I (22F) am pretty sure he (22M) uses reddit and can tell the way I talk, so I'm going to keep this simple (but I talk a lot and am confused so this might end up long anyway). We're the same age, recent college grads, and have a lot of overlap in background. We met through a mutual friend last month and talked for a week before out first date, talked for a bit after, and then I canceled the second date the night before cause I didn't want to inconvenience him if I was kind of pulling away.
We got along easily, but there were a few things that didn't really sit right with me value and lifestyle-wise. It was moving very fast emotionally, and I'm a lot more wary as I get older. I don't want to lead him on if I'm not as 100% as he is. However, he was intentional and is clear that he was interested. I thought he was cute. I think I find people more attractive the longer I know them, and I don't think I'm very sexually outgoing. He was respectful about it. Anyway.
Leading up to my eventual cancelation, I asked for advice from those closest to me on it since I was really having a hard time deciding whether to go on the date or not. I wondered if I was being too harsh so give him a chance and go, or if I should tell him I'm not ready for a relationship. The mutual friend suggested telling him why I wasn't into it as soon as possible or just cancelling, my family said to cancel or reschedule, and another friend said go to go. I ended up basically texting to cancel and that I'm not in a place to date, but thank you. He pretty much said understandable, thank you.
I'm not sure if this is trusting my gut, avoidance, mature, or what. I am kind of regretting it because what if we did pursue each other? But also we are both not where we want to be in life quite yet.
TL;DR! I am clumsy in relationships and don't know if I am preemptively rejecting people before there is a chance to form a romantic connection, or if I am doing good by staying true to my standards and intuition.
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