The two times I have seriously dated I have ended it because they switch from being very complimentary, using emotional language and being certain about wanting a relationship together in the future to saying things like 'I don't know', 'I didn't expect it to work out so good so quickly. This makes me feel anxious and hurt as someone who seemed certain and said all the right things no longer knows if they want to take things seriously.
Both times the uncertainty supposedly stemmed from distance problems whether they lived elsewhere or were potentially moving. Both times I ended it, but come to regret my decision as I miss them. With the first guy I came back and waited to see if that 'I don't know' would lead anywhere. For over a year it did not. When I told the second guy I was willing to try and just see he said it's already over for him and I was too focused on the future so we are incompatible.
I'm wondering how I can navigate this issue so it doesn't happen again and if it is strange to feel so anxious not knowing the direction a relationship is going in? How to know when it's unreasonable anxiety and attachment to the person vs it actually being time to let go. I've tried waiting and also cutting things off quickly, but felt really heartbroken in both cases.
l've also been thinking about people who say to just enjoy the moment etc... The people I've dated have made me really happy ,but I feel uneasy talking so often, making memories, going on dates and being physical knowing it will not turn into a relationshi that something to work on or maybe just how l', V wired? Some of my friends have waited on 'I don't knows’ and it’s worked out so I’m wondering if I’m selling myself short.
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