I could really use some outside perspective on this.
I’ve (29F) been spending time with this girl (30F) recently, and I’ve started to develop a pretty strong crush on her. The dynamic between us feels different from friendship. There’s a lot of intense eye contact, playful banter, and moments that feel pretty intimate like deep talks and soft touches. I'm pretty sure she feels similarly about me with how much she blushes and giggles around me.
At one point, I asked her if she’s ever had a crush on a girl, and she told me she's always wanted to date a woman, but has no real experience with them. She's never put herself out there into queer spaces to meet other queer people and she's a bit of a home body. But the biggest obstacle here is that she has a boyfriend.
Now I know how this sounds, but honestly I wouldn't even be making this post if it sounded like she was totally invested in her man. It's not my place to step in the way, but the way she talks about him makes me question how well their relationship is going.
She's mentioned how there's not the kind of passion she would want in a relationship, and how her boyfriend goes through periods of deep depression which has been hard on her because she is very optimistic and is a happy person in general. She's mentioned how they only see each other a couple times a month (2-4) and have never lived together. She's also mentioned that she's talked to him about opening up the relationship to date girls and he kind of brushed it off, but last time we hung out she mentioned it to me and told me she's going to talk to him about it again.
She's a very kind and sweet girl who doesn't like to say anything bad about anyone, so it took a little while to get some of those details about her relationship. (Not long though haha).
So I feel like there is something there… but I don’t know how to interpret it.
TL;DR: I’m trying to be respectful of the fact that she’s in a relationship and also that this might be new territory for her. At the same time, I don’t want to ignore something that feels real.
I guess my question is: How do I navigate this without overstepping?
Any advice (especially from people who’ve been in a similar situation) would really help.
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