Maybe I'm crazy In this day and age but I wanna get married and have kids. I got ghosted recently by a woman I would have loved to be with for rest of my life. But guess not cause the woman I would want wouldnt treat me like that. She was older and she made more than me. She probably ghosted me because she's probably trying to work things out with her ex again who makes way more than me even though I know she'll never be happy with him like she is with me emotionally. Or maybe we moved too fast and she got scared.
But really thinking about it, being financially sound is important in relationships. Who would want to be with someone who isnt at the very least their financial equal? Just overcome with this anxiety that once again I'm not good enough. When I was with her all I could think was how much more she made than me. Yeah, she was much older but the money thing still made me feel so insecure. I still wanted to pay for the dates entirely and support her despite my shortcomings. She would still spoil me and get stuff for me but I hated it. I just wanted to pay for it all.
I'm 28 and feel like I've ruined my early 20s being depressed and not trying hard enough. I still am kinda depressed and even getting help now I find it hard to move forward and be better. I need to grind and get better and make more money so I can have the life I want and can easily share it. I want a lady that has her own but I also want to be there to make sure she never has any trouble emotionally, physically and financially. Is it bad I want to be the one who makes sure all the bills are paid? Or is just my insecurity talking thinking this is what women want? I do know I want to be able to provide for my family.
But I cant help but feel it's too late for me. Like that by the time I am able to have these things I'll be in my mid 30s or 40s where dating is even more excruciatingly hard. Do most women care about entering a relationship with a man who makes less than them as long as they are trying and grinding to be better? Should I wait til I'm ready for these things before trying to be with someone? Or is there people out there who will be patient and help you towards your dreams? I feel like I want to be ready before I find someone to be with but what if I've missed my shot? What if i end up being too late?
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