TL;DR- I (22F) cancelled "hanging out" with a very persistent guy(35M) who was persistent even after I expressed disinterest. He was upset and I didn't put up with it. (He was also very focused on getting me to come over.)
Full story. Without too many details.
We had each other added on Snapchat from search. Somehow we talked, probably about one of our stories, and he became very interested in hanging out. Ok. We have lunch out and I don't think a lot on it. Then he tells me he's always liked me, ever since I was like 16 and I express to him that I've been in and out of some bad relationships and not only am I needing time to myself, but I'm not interested. Ok, he backed off.
A couple weeks pass and he wants to hang out. He always asks to hang out when he wants to hang out, and I'm usually doing something. So he claims I "cancel" on him all the time and makes comments constantly about how busy can one person be, how many months notice does he need, etc. Keep in mind we've made plans one time and that was when we had lunch.
Last night he does all this again and I agree to hang out, and ask if we can eat at a local place. He says he'd like to order and bring it home, and I'm welcome to meet him there. I'm coughing and falling asleep the whole time, wore out, and agree. So all day today I'm thinking man, I really don't want to. I feel terrible and I don't feel comfortable about going to his house knowing how he feels, and it was weird that he kept insisting we go to his place. Alone.
So I cancelled for the first time. He got upset and you know what? I didn't let it bother me. He didn't seem to care about me not feeling well, and moreso was focused on all the times I "cancelled" our "plans" (aka the last minute bs.) I feel safe and regret free sitting at home with takeout from that place, without him. I also feel sick, but you get my point.
Guys too. If y'all feel uneasy about a girl, don't be afraid to cancel or not be nice. She will be ok and you don't have to sit through awkwardness or waste an evening doing something you don't want to. Someone's reaction is also very telling.
[ Obviously this isn't intended to excuse the habitual flakes. Don't be that person please. ]
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