(MAJOR BACKGROUND INFO)
This girl and I Have been a thing on and off for two years now.
F and I are in the same sport but on other sides of the city. We have met at this pretty big meeting March and we instantly clicked. F at this time was 16 and I was 17. She wanted to hang out more once the competition was over. Since F couldn't drive yet it was difficult to meet up. We would talk everyday, on every social media or by texting. Eventually she called it off when we traveled to California for a competition, I was heartbroken but I definitely agreed.
We stopped talking for a bit but we were friendly four months later and ended up kinda dating for two months. Right before Christmas we were supposed to go on a date but she disappeared that morning. No response to texts or calls. I ask her friends if if went to practice that morning and if she was alright and she was. A day later I finally get a response, "I'm sorry about yesterday, family members came over and I was busy all day." Me, slightly upset about being ghosted, told her how she was able to respond to her friends but not tell me that she had company and couldn't tell me. She got upset with me for 'stalking' her and ended whatever we were.
7 months later (July), we were back to flirting again. I was at nationals and she was home. We talked about going on a date. We agreed on a time and place. When I got back home I was unsure about going on this date, and I told her about it. She and I agreed to not go on a date and not catch feelings since I was going to compete for one of the colleges she was looking at to continue her education and not influence her decisions.
I miss her and would always talk with her whenever we could. I still have feelings for her and it hurts.
She eventually came for a recruiting trip, she had a thing with a boy from her high school. The team, F, and I went to a festival. She was dancing with the college freshman and I was slightly drunk. A random older male wanted a picture with the girls and they agreed, when the man took the picture he turned and kissed F. I have NEVER felt an anger like this before. My blood was boiling, my fists were clenched, my body was shaking. All the college freshman girls did was laugh along with F and my teammates had to calm me down.
Fast-forward to the next day, when F was leaving from her trip. I apologized to her and the college freshman girls for the way I behaved the night before and should not have reacted since F and I were not dating or a thing. Eventually she committed to attend my school next fall, which could be a good thing?
Four months later (March) she is with a new boy, someone that goes to her school. They are on top of each other, always posting about each other. F and I don't talk much anymore, maybe two or three times a month. When I found out she was a bit awkward, and I told her "if you are happy, then I am happy." But seeing all this just hurts me inside, keeping me up at night, losing appetite and motivation. F's current boyfriend is going to a different school that is a couple of hours away.
Could this mean that they'll breakup because of distance? Will I finally have my chance with no distance between us? I am asking because I lost interest in every other woman. I have no attraction to anyone else. I've asked others what's wrong with me and if I am just obsessed but they tell me that I am heartbroken.
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