Hi all,
Like the title says, I'm 25 years old and I've never been in a relationship. I think my age and thinking about the fact I've been single my whole life destroys my confidence a bit with each passing day (hence why I can't picture myself being with someone, because I've been alone for so long).
I wouldn't call myself shy, but I do enjoy spending time on my own. But so much time alone is getting lonely. Don't get me wrong, I'm so fortunate to have a wonderful family and really great friends whom I love so much. I just feel like I'm missing out, I want someone I can just hang out with and be intimate with...I want to feel desired and it really just bums me out thinking about it.
During university, I spent a lot of time going out with friends, drinking a lot which led to several hookups (not a virgin, but honestly I feel like my virginity is growing back lol). I had two major crushes at uni, both of whom I scared off being a silly, emotional and drunk girl. Both started off as friends and then I'd go out and drink too much and confess my "love" to them. Then we'd sleep together, and they'd ditch me. Neither time it went the way I wanted it to and both times took me many months to get over (so I don't do that anymore). One was when I was 19 and the other probably when I was 21.
After I graduated, I felt a little lost and moved back home. I also began struggling with anxiety and panic attacks when I was probably about19 (which now that I'm 25 I have under control for the most part, but it's been a pretty big part of my life the last few years trying not to let it completely take over my life). I've gone through a series of jobs, I don't have a career, but that's partly because I'm a writer (of sorts) and have really been putting as much as I can into blogging (which I make a little money off of), and I'm planning to start writing my first book soon. I was working in America but that was cut short because of the pandemic and now I'm back living at home (in the UK).
I have a lot of interests - reading, traveling, learning languages, true crime (it's in the name!), animals, drinking and dining amongst other things and I feel like I'm pretty good at getting to know people. I'm not drop dead gorgeous but I feel like I'm okay looking when I make an effort.
I have tried Tinder and Hinge on and off for the past 4 years, I've been on some dates which went okay, but I've never really been excited enough for a second date. If possible, I'd like to meet someone in real life first. I'm getting so bored of the conversations on dating apps that never seem to go anywhere and just feel like a waste of time. If I have to make small talk, I'd rather do it in person than on an app.
This got a bit long but if you made it this far, thank you for reading! Any words of advice/encouragement/"you're not alone" sentiments would be really appreciated.
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