It's bit of a wall of text, I think the TL;DR should be enough to go on haha
So since quarantine had us all locked away for a month and half, a girl who has been in my friend group, who we will call C, for quite a few years and we found ourselves talking to each other almost daily. Over the past couple years and since my 3 year long relationship ended, we've been slowly getting closer. I honestly don't think either of us thought much of it though (and by close I mean talking more, going to each other work party's as the plus one...stuff like that).
I had some reservations about her that stopped me from really pursuing. She's very attractive. Easy going and has none of the "not over my ex" baggage. But she can also be cold and very blunt. We have had our share of late night arguments where hurtful words were said to each other. Although it has been over a year since anything "bad" has occurred between us. 2020 has actually been really great for us.
So when things got a little less restricted and weather got warmer, we started going on bike rides together, a few times per week. That has continued for months now. A couple weeks ago we both shared a bed, drunk. Nothing happened that night. Last weekend we were both at a small wedding together (I was in the wedding party, she was invited to attend much later), I spent the night talking to another girl, who we will call E. Who I then shared a kiss with and we planned to go on a date. No idea if C knew about any of it, as we actually left the wedding for a bit to get away from everyone. E left the wedding pretty quickly after we walked back to the house the wedding was at. I then ran into C wandering around, who then jokingly gave me shit for "ignoring her". Which wasn't true but I was preoccupied. C and I spent the rest of the night together. Drunkenly walked back to our friends place and ended up cuddling in bed all night.
This weekend, same thing. Friday night, in a bed cuddling/holding hands. Saturday, her and I went and grabbed drinks then went back to her place where we cuddled on the couch and watched movies. I was planning on bringing it up to her then but she actually beat me to it. We did not hook up but I stayed the night again. She told me that she's not looking for a casual fling but a relationship. That she's also worried about if things were to go south with us that she'd lose me. So definitely conflicted. I told her that yes I do have feelings for you and would have no problem dating you. That I also am cautious about losing her as a friend but have been enjoying the change. She told me that after I told her I went on a date, that it really made her think about us and that her feelings were real. Then I went on to say that we should take this very very slow. I then asked if she was finding being physical weird, which she said no. She initiates it quite a bit, even the next morning. So when I woke up we kissed for a little bit and then I left. Since leaving though, she has stayed pretty quiet. I haven't text her all day...while not totally abnormal for us, as we do sometimes go 24 hours or more without sending messages, it's adding to my confusion.
(Also, I went on that date with E, it was definitely fun, but she wasn't looking for a relationship with me, which is fine and I'll still see her around as we see each other a random get-togethers every few months anyways. No hard feelings there at all!)
TL;DR Girl I've known since 2014 admitted feelings last night, as did I, but were both hesitant to go further. We have broken the physical contact barrier, including kissing but nothing sexual at this point.
Anyone have any advice for this? Leave it or keep going?
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