I’ve (25F) tried dating men, I’ve tried dating women, I’ve tried dating non-binary people. It just never works. The last two people I went on dates with (off apps) both ended up being in relationships. I didn’t have any idea until girlfriends started calling me. Idk if it’s just me, or what. I feel like I never connect with men emotionally and women are too mean and often insulting. There’s just no winning. I don’t want to go out with guys because they just want sex and lie so effortlessly, I don’t want to go out with women because a lot of them just want sex too, but also, they make you feel like shit and put you down. I guess guys do too, but it’s women know how to really hurt you. Maybe that’s just how it is. I’m 25 but I think it’s very likely I’ll die alone. I’ve never had anything even resembling a relationship. I get plenty of attention, just dating is not fun. I’m not special to anyone, but I’m special to myself. I guess that’ll have to be enough. I just don’t want to date anymore. It’s really draining and I won’t be what they wanted anyways. I’m so exhausted. I wish I could just find someone like me, but no one is like me. Maybe that’s the reality of being autistic and stereotypically good-looking: so much hollowness and misplaced jealousy. It’s just a lot. Guess I’ll isolate and try to make a life alone with my dog, but it’s hard whenever everyone around me seems to thinking getting married and having kids is like, the reason we’re all here. Awkward.
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