Hi! I (19f) Met someone (21m) and we hit it off instantly and so well that we were both almost weirded out by how strong the initial connection was. He’s exactly my type physically and acted SUPER interested and things were very intense at the start. He was very sweet and attentive, even asking if he could come over and read in silence while I studied (I was too busy for a real date that week) because he missed me and just wanted to be around me. He gave me a tshirt of his and consistently and clearly reaffirmed his interest to an extent that would have been overwhelming to me if I didn’t already like him so much.
After that, he abruptly got COVID and had to isolate during finals week. He then stopped responding for a day or two (very unusual for him) and after I communicated that when he did that I was hurt and assumed he was blowing me off, he apologized to me and said he’d been depressed living in COVID isolation while working on finals. Things were fine but later on he didn’t respond again, for days. Again, I was hurt, and he apologized again and asked to call. In the call, he apologized profusely, saying his behavior was not at all okay and that he was going to work on his habit of going ghost when he was depressed or overwhelmed (apparently this happens often and he will ghost everyone during these times.) Things were fine for the next few days (he acted the same as he did when we first met and was not at all dry over text), until he ghosted AGAIN. i knew I needed to drop him, so I texted him merry Christmas and planned to drop him the next day since I felt bad delivering the news on a holiday. But he responded saying he is TEMPORARILY HOMELESS?? (But safe and doing well and had a place to stay) And that he missed me, used cute nicknames, etc etc. I felt bad but I still felt it was the wise move to drop him, so I said “let’s talk soon,” hoping to at least have the decency of dropping him through video chat instead of text. But he ghosted again and I blocked him because I hated the position of weakness I was in while waiting for him to respond. I felt like I was giving him control over the situation and my feelings by continuing to wait on him. I’ve had him blocked for a couple of weeks now and he sometimes still views my ig stories but I know that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
I know I did nothing wrong and that I deserve better, even if it was just a simple “hey I don’t wanna continue this in part because I’m going through some personal stuff” text. Problem is, I’m having a very hard time getting over this extremely brief yet intense fling. I wasn’t anywhere near this upset over dudes that I’ve known and dated longer, even ones that were more conventionally handsome, were better communicators, had less red flags, and would make more money on the future. I just haven’t experienced this level of mental synchronicity in such a long time, like years, and it’s so frustrating to lose something that feels so rare for apparently no real reason. In the past things ended either because they moved extremely far away or because he realized we didn’t have much chemistry, so in all cases everyone involved was a good person and the loss of the connection was really nobody’s fault.
So why do I still like this person even though he’s the worst one so far? How do I make myself not like him anymore? Or at least stop thinking about it?
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