Almost a Year Since My Ex (M23) Left, and I (F23) Still Have Feelings - ATX News Paper

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Monday, November 4, 2024

Almost a Year Since My Ex (M23) Left, and I (F23) Still Have Feelings

In January 2024, my boyfriend (23M) of a year and a half broke up with me (23F) because he had “too much life stuff to deal with.” It completely blindsided me because I honestly thought we were in love. Call me naive, but I thought we were in it for the long haul. We were each other’s best friends, and everything felt like it was going so well.

After the breakup, I fell apart. I lost my job because of how depressed I’d become, got hit by a car while crying (I know, sounds dramatic but true), and ended up with guys who just used me while I was trying to fill the hole he’d left. It was honestly a mess. By May, things were starting to improve. I was still occasionally depressed, but not constantly. I got a better job, and I even started enjoying single life a bit. I still had nights where I cried myself to sleep missing him, but I kept praying and hoping that maybe, somehow, we’d find our way back to each other.

Two weeks ago, out of nowhere, he messaged me and asked to meet up after work. I was so happy—I couldn’t say yes fast enough. I thought maybe he’d finally realised he missed me as much as I missed him. But I was wrong. He just wanted to catch up, share updates about work, his family, and life in general. After 20 minutes of small talk, he said he had to go, and we walked to the train station together. As we said goodbye, he casually mentioned, “We should do this again sometime.” And all I could think was, What is “this”? Friendship? Is that what he wants?

It hurt so much that, once I got home, I sent him a long message pouring my heart out. I told him I couldn’t just sit across from him, hearing about his life, without wanting to be part of it. I said I didn’t think I could be “just friends” because I’m still in love with him and that if that’s all he wants, I’d have to block him. He replied with, “Wow” and “I understand.” But I didn’t want him to “understand.” I wanted him to want me back.

When we first broke up, he’d told me he still loved me and cared about me, but he just didn’t want a relationship anymore. I even suggested a break instead of a breakup, but he said it would be selfish to do that when he didn’t know how long he’d need.

So now, 11 months on, I’m considering messaging him to ask if he’d ever want to get back together. I want to know if he’s been just as miserable without me as I’ve been without him. I know I don’t need him. I know that life will go on without him. But I want him.

Should I reach out, or am I just setting myself up for more hurt?

submitted by /u/Extra_Butterscotch_9
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