F(29) M(32) a few weeks ago my bf of almost 3 years told me he wasn’t inlove with me fully and needed space and didn’t want the pressure of a relationship right now. He wants to live separately when this lease is up (we’ve lived together for almost 2 years, our lease is up in about 2 months). He also said he wanted to work on things between us. He has strong desire for other women energies and wants to also explore that during our space. I like girls as well and we have threesomes sometimes but I think he just wants to move the way he wants without having to worry about my feelings. He said he loves and cares for me a lot but just feels very closed in and feels like we don’t connect on certain things (ex. Shows, some food choices, music). He also thinks we are very co-dependent and need to grow as individuals. He said we don’t have to do a full break up just put the relationship on the back burner while we get ourselves together. I’m a great woman and I’m very close with his 2 children. I cook, clean, take care of everything. He literally hasn’t folded an article of clothing since we’ve moved in, never had to go grocery shopping etc. This is just all background info lol But anyways, the very same day he told me this I found out I was pregnant. He originally said either way he’ll be there for me but then it became hell in our home when I brought up the idea of keeping it. I’m not naive and I’m not a girl who believes a baby will keep a man. I know it would actually most likely make things worse with the added pressure. I do really want to save my relationship but I’m feeling super guilty about an abortion. So, with a lot of back and fourth, him yelling at me and telling me I’m basically dumb to think this is possible and this is why he wants space because “im not living in the same world as him” and how this is going to mess up us working on ourselves and I don’t know how hard it is and to be fair I don’t have my own children. I don’t know how hard it is but I’ve been told how hard it is. Anyways, I made an apt at the abortion clinic he came with me and was giving pills to take at home. I haven’t taken them yet and it’s making him very angry. He’s slept at families houses and said he can’t be around me and is disgusted with the way I’m holding this over him. I’m not trying to I’m just very indecisive. I’ve been crying all day everyday for the last few weeks about me & him and also the pregnancy situation. I just don’t know what to do. I feel lost, sad, depressed, and in pain. I’m not financially ready but he has a decent job and I’m finishing school before the year ends so I can also get a decent job. He’s saying that I need to already be established and have something going I can’t just start while I’m pregnant. I would love to be a mom and he’s known that but always said how he’s not financially or mentally ready. He has 2 kids who I love sooo much but I have none. I’m in love with him. He has a lot of good to him too and we’ve had almost no other issues during our relationship. He’s always been so sweet and supportive. I just want to get him back and him to view me differently. I just need advice, for both situations. I’m going THROUGH IT. Please please be kind. I’m super sensitive right now and just need genuine advice.
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