TLDR: Coworker seems to treat me pretty differently from other colleagues. Is coming to my city now. Am I being delusional if I’m thinking about asking to meet for a drink after work?
Met this guy when I was finishing training at my new job. We had that moment about sharing about anxiety when we first met and I told him how I just felt quite full of nerves and he told me he had anxiety too. I ended up keeping in contact with him for help since he has a lot of experience and answers me super fast. Always making time for me to call him if I need and actually finding information for me and helping me understand.
We’ve had a handful more casual conversations nothing much but when I initiate a non work related conversation he does always continues chatting. He is just supportive and friendly has checked in once or twice if I like the role, how I’m feeling, just stuff like that but never unprofessionally as he is above me. Essentially a manager role.
Come to find out that like everyone else in my office doesn’t find him super helpful or easy to talk to. Comment someone made today was “of course he would like my name. I had mentioned in this conversation that I didn’t know people thought he wasn’t nice and got the response back “well it’s not that he’s not nice, he’s just not a people person”. Which I thought was weird because I feel like we don’t have trouble making conversation. I’ve also gotten comments about how “well you’re you so of course he is nicer to you” which I don’t really understand either
He recently mentioned to me that he’s going to be up in my city but wouldn’t tell me it was for work. Just said he was going to be around for “something like that” when I asked. I did find out through other colleagues it is for a work event and it seems like they are up for a few days and weekend. I am an American in a uk office so I don’t know if he is just nice to me because he likes me or if I’m just slightly different than everyone else?
Some people have said he’s a bit of a creep and I look a bit younger than I am. I don’t think he’s too much older maybe like 2-5 years at most. He occasionally calls me “kidney” if that’s maybe an indicator it’s just friendly though??
I’ve kinda developed a crush on him, he is really really handsome and sweet to me and I felt like I was kinda making it up but feel like he legitimately does treat me differently from others comments. I also just don’t want to cross any professional boundaries either but it feels like everyone around me is insinuating he really likes me more than the average colleague
I’m considering asking him to get a drink, just if he has any free time, while he’s up since I owe him for all his help since stating. Chances he will go for it or if I’m absolutely reading the room wrong? Does it sound like he just has a soft spot for me as a colleague?
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