So here’s the situation. I messed up, and I honestly don’t know how to fix it anymore.
There’s this girl I care about more than anything. We’ve been really close for months. She already has trust/self-worth issues because of her toxic ex, and she gets triggered easily when it comes to me talking to other girls. A while back, I talked to a girl she absolutely hates n it pissed her off. We sorted it out, I thought things were fine.
Then a few days later she saw me with some other girls (literally nothing happened) and tbh the girls were laughing and having a great time but it was with the other guy next to me...i didn't even talked to them, and boom… she got angry again. She stopped talking to me, went cold. I tried to talk to her but she’s been holding on to it. Kept telling me "now i won't tell you anything...do whatever you wanna do" and "be with you new friends" And to make things worse, in one of our fights, I said something I regret that she was causing me “stress and frustration.” and that because of this i can’t focus on my career. She already thinks she ruins things, so I basically confirmed her worst fear. She cried and told me not to talk to her anymore because she’s “not good for me.” and she told me she is seriously stressed and need space...so i agreed saying fine we won't talk...and gave her some space..i thought she will cool down after sometime.
It’s been 10 damn days. She’s still angry, still distant. I’m angry too, but more at myself. I didn’t cheat, I didn’t flirt, I didn’t do anything wrong intentionally, but my words hurt her, and now she’s stuck in that “I’m bad for you” loop. And also i am stupid too...i was acting like "hey i am fine...i don’t care" from past few days in college...not looking at her coz she "asked for space"(i know you guys think i am stupid...and tbh yes i am)
Tomorrow I’m gonna talk to her. I’ve decided. I want to tell her she’s being unfair because I really didn’t do anything wrong but at the same time, I don’t want to lose her. I know I matter to her, she knows she matters to me, but she’s acting like she doesn’t care. I want to tell her she can push me away all she wants, but I’m not leaving. I’m not giving up on her. And yeah, I’ll apologize too, because I was wrong to say what I said.
I’m frustrated. I’m guilty. I just want this stupid fight to end and for us to go back to normal.
So my question is… how do I even approach her tomorrow without making it worse? Do I go direct and firm? Do I stay soft and let her vent? How do I make her believe I’m not leaving her, no matter how much she pushes me away?
Any insights especially from women can help me a lot to deal with this. So please. help me.
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