Little story here. Been talking to this girl since late September. She prefaced from the rip that she isn’t ready for anything yet, and its probably too early to be on Hinge (she’d got out of a tiring relationship) - but her and I were hitting it off so well, and she felt it too, which I think is why she told me this. She was upfront too about wanting to be slow and cautious anyway, and really wanting to know someone for a long time first. She added “If in the future I’m not ready for anything, would you still want to be friends? Just so theres no pressure you know?” And at the time I truly believed I would, so I totally reassured her. That was within 3 days of meeting, after our first hangout/date/whatever you wanna call it. We’ve had six more since and they’ve gotten more … normal. Us doing little things together. Shopping, doing work together while we waited for her car to be ready at the shop, etc. but also bigger things like a “lego day” (which was conveniently listed as a “first date idea”) and big walks in the woods lasting 5 hours, taking pictures of each other and totally just living in the moment.
We were getting pretty flirty one week a month and a half ago and she had to slow us down a little, for her own sake. It wasnt telling me to stop or slow - it was saying “we” need to slow down. Admitted herself as equally complicit. Said that “maybe because this is working out so well,” she felt a pressure in her chest she needed to address, that yeah she’s still not quite ready yet - “but likes spending time with me and isn’t afraid to say so!” Said it wasnt the easy choice but its the right choice since she has a habit of jumping into things too quickly. I was totally supportive and cool with this. But, we’ve totally retained all closeness. She’s invited me into her inner circle a little. I’ll be meeting her best friend and other friends in a week, and her brother, probably some of the closest people to her right now. And she’s invited me to co-collaborate on a party she’s throwing in the not-so-distant future, building a menu of food and drink together. Have crazy amounts of activities planned and stuff we wanna do, and any time she shows me an interest, or something she wants to do, she frames it as “we” without me provoking it. One example is a foraging class she saw.
That all led me to believe I’m pretty close, and especially with the brake pump she needed, she saw me as sorta… yanno, the guy, when she gets there. I’ve become a decent bit invested I must admit. This is a girl who has printed my art out, and put my it into her own personal sketchbook, while gushing to me about it. and recently reassured me she won’t judge me by my family when she meets them, which may happen casually in the next month or two
Until her Hinge updated two weeks back with a picture she’d sent to me the day before. And it did again sometime recently, past few days. No wording updates, still says “looking for life partner.” Just two pictures. But its throwing me all off. Putting a little knot in my chest. She’s been very honest and transparent this whole time, and thats one reason we get along so well - we’re both similar in that regard. So, I would hate to feel like I’ve been reading this wrong, or like she’s sort of pulling away…? The last few weeks, her job has been really stressful and draining - says it always gets this way this time of year. I worried that may have been her excuse to pull back for whatever reason, but, our post holiday plans haven’t shifted. She keeps alluding to them, has even brought them up on her own as something shes really looking forward to once work chills out. We’ve got plans for a “movie day,” her birthday with her close friends, the party she wants to throw, and finally going to check out this town Ive been hyping up to her since the week we met. She mentioned feeling the pull towards exploring it just the other day with a “😜.” And I straight up told her I missed her last week and she heart reacted it and followed up with reassuring we will hang again soon. 🤷
For my own anxiety, am I crazy? Is she not building with me? If she is, why the little micro Hinge updates? Especially while she’s stressed about work so much she has told me she literally has days she has 0 social battery and is so anxious she’s almost passed out.
I know when we met she was big on this idea of feeling free again and was soaking it up during our hangouts. So much so she cut herself off once from telling me how much I changed her whole vibe up after the first few weeks. She was saying how good she’s been feeling, finally, after a long stretch of bad and then her voice got very soft suddenly and she said “and these last few weeks have been…” and she trailed off like she was about to say something forbidden. I acknowledged it and said “yeah they have been…” and she quickly changed the subject: “Besides that… whats got you feeling good lately?” I’m really hoping it’s just kind of her feeling of being free right now, out of that bad relationship prior to meeting me, etc. that she’s sorta still holding onto the profile as a sign of freedom or something. but.. also the amount of investment we’ve poured into each other almost makes it worrying. Feel like she might’ve told me by now if I “wasn’t that guy,” hah. Total of 7 dates, and three of them were within one weekend, AFTER she slowed us down. 🤷
27M 28F for whatever that’s worth.
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