I (M28) recently started my very first relationship with a colleague (F27) after a long period of mutual admiration. We've been dating for three months and official for a month. It went well at first, but since last week I suddenly lost the feelings for her. It just happened like that, and now she just feels like a good person to be friends with.
I only discovered that I check almost all the boxes of a dismissive avoidant yesterday. For most of my life, I never saw the appeal of a relationship and were perfectly happy with the single life. Already during the dating phase, I had doubts that whether I was ready to give up freedom and independence for her, with my feelings fluctuating between infatuated and numb, but I went with DTR because I did like her.
She seems to still enjoy my company very much and isn't shy of expressing it, and that makes me feel a bit guilty and pressured to be the boyfriend she deserves.
I am worried that the relationship just started and it's already dying. I am seriously panicking and questioning whether I made a mistake and should have stayed single. I dread every day that I might become the type of jerk that leads a girl on than breaks up immediately. Is this deactivation? Is this a permanent loss of interest? What should I even do now?
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