Hello all, so a week or so before the epidemic hit, I (f/23) went on a dinner date with a guy (m/25) that went well. We had drinks, talked all night, and then went our separate ways. We continued texting and he asked to see me again a few days later. At that point a few cases had popped up in our city, so I agreed to have a night in at his place.
It’s been two months, and we have still been hanging out and chatting consistently when we aren’t together. He asks me about my day, my dog- general life things and also deeper conversations. We get along great, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Intentions were never discussed, but I did sleep with him the fourth time we got together. We typically hang out 2 or 3 night a week, and don’t always have sex Sometimes after hanging out or grabbing dinner, we just listen to music, talk, cuddle and go to sleep.
However, I did begin to develop feelings for him, so a few days ago I asked what he is looking for. He responded by saying that he does not want me to think that he sees me as “casual, or just a fling.” That he has gotten to know me over time and thinks that I hold “much higher value than that.” He then went on to say that he doesn’t want me to feel disrespected, but that he is “not looking for a relationship currently”
He followed this by saying “I feel super lucky that I’ve gotten to meet you and I hope that it’s a friendship that can be nurtured throughout many more years. I also really enjoy our dynamic. Intimacy aside.”
I asked him if his reasoning is that he does not view me romantically, and to be honest with me. (I genuinely just wanted know) He answered with “No I wouldn’t say it’s that. I have many reasons why. Like I said I don’t want you to feel disrespected or devalued whatsoever. I’m just not looking for it right now but you’re not just a fling. You’re not a memory. I’m interested in continuing our friendship”
So my question to you all is this: does he mean that he does not want a relationship with me, or that he genuinely just isn’t looking for a commitment right now? I do know that he got out of an involved relationship recently- they lived together for two years.
To be clear, I do not intend to wait around for him whatsoever; but I am seeking your opinions and clarity on the matter.
TLDR; is it that he doesn’t want to date me publicly? Or that he really is just not looking for a commitment at this time?
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