I had been talking to this guy for three months; when we met I was 22 and he was 19. He has a rough family history and that translated to his academic life, as he's just now finishing up his senior year of high school whereas I am finishing up college in the fall. Initially, he kept this from me, because he's extremely embarrassed about losing two years. It would normally be a deal breaker for me, but we had a talk about it -- especially the fact that he'll be entering college and I'll be on my way out -- and after he assured me it was not a big deal to him, I proceeded.
Anyway, he's bisexual and got out of a three year relationship back in November. It was an exceptionally toxic relationship and the stories he'd tell me blew my mind. I was his first experience with a guy and we would spend time together and generally hooked up. He came out to some of his close friends and introduced me to them, and he told me how much they liked me, etc. We would FaceTime pretty often, for hours. He would talk about things in the future, saying how we're going to do stuff after coronavirus is over, and would invite me to stay over at his apartment at college. We were never dating, so the phrase "broke up" is mainly to convey what happened.
Anyway, over the course of a week his communication got worse and culminated with two days of radio silence. Then I got a 1AM text telling me that he hates to do this and feels horrible but he's getting back with his ex-girlfriend. He clarifies that he was "super into" me and thinks I'm "amazing," and that he just "can't do this anymore." He also adds that the fact that I'm graduating next semester while he's just starting is a problem for him (which is valid!).
Anyway, it turns out that he was lying about getting back with his ex. He matched with a couple of my gay friends on Tinder, so he was obviously still swiping. His ex is also not following him on Instagram, so there's that. I send him a text and don't hear back for several hours. I figured I wouldn't get the truth from him anyway, so I text the two friends I got along with the best and hoped they'd be adult and give me the truth -- they don't, they just ignored it, which I expected.
Anyway, the guy finally responded and said "who did you hear that from" instead of flatly denying it. He then said "well I didn't mean to match with him. I'm not on tinder" which is clearly a lie (it's so obviously a lie that I cannot believe he doubled down). He then said he'd appreciate it if I wouldn't text those two friends, which is completely fair. Those two have since unfollowed me on Insta, but the guy hasn't unfollowed me on anything. He views my stories, so I know for a fact he's aware that he still follows me.
I just can't understand the rapid decline -- we were going so strongly and within a week it was over. Did he just get spooked at the thought of commitment? Why lie instead of just being honest? If he's trying to cut me off why wouldn't he block me on everything as well? Can it all be boiled down to the fact that he's just an immature kid who doesn't know how to deal with interpersonal relationships yet?
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