My eyes were opened today about a good friend who I've had feelings for for some time now. We talked about it months ago and long story short I accepted just being her friend. Well, we talk about everything, I help her all the time, we hang out and have fun together, the ingredients are all there.
Today was a lunch date. She was gone for two months dealing with family issues so I was excited to finally see her. Plans changed quickly. Two more friends were invited and the after lunch walk we were going to do turned to her going to the city to get drunk with and likely bang a "friend" as her roommate kind of hinted to me. She asked me to check her tire pressure before she left and you know me, I jumped right on it.
And my reddit friends, as I was filling the second tire the lightbulb went off. Here I am, filling up this woman's tires so she can drive off and screw some other dude? No. I finished, hugged her, and told her I'm going to disappear for awhile.
In no way is she to blame here. She made it clear how she felt before. I tried to twist things she said in my mind creating an illusion of chance. I thought that by being there for her she might change her mind in time. The sadness I feel and the time that I have wasted is solely on my shoulders.
The message I am trying to convey to you all through this sloppily written story is to release false hope and save yourself. It is a dreadful burden to carry. There are so many other lovely people out there who would be happy for you to check their tires. Find them!
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