[30M] I think I missed a crucial part of social development and I'll be lonely forever, I don't know how to start back up - ATX News Paper

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Saturday, March 6, 2021

[30M] I think I missed a crucial part of social development and I'll be lonely forever, I don't know how to start back up

Throwaway.

I think I missed a crucial part of social development. I try to be humble in general but for the sake of this post: I am a very good looking guy. Also, I am in incredible shape (TRT), gym daily, good hygiene, good fitting clothes. But my social skills are fundamentally broken. I live with my parents until I graduate uni (engineer), and that kills my self - esteem. I have nowhere to take a girl after a date. I do drive a car. (Seriously, I'm attractive, and I can tell you looks mean absolutely zilch, zero, nothing without the halfway decent social skills).

I believe that my self image and social skills were fundamentally derailed and broken because of a hyper-overprotective parent. I do have a social life somewhat, I have friends, hang out every once in a while. But I've never had a romantic relationship last more than 2 or 3 months, and at this point, I feel I am too unfamiliar with relationships, intimacy, human connection etc to be happy some day. I've seen friends interact with girlfriends and it often seemed alien and un-intuitive to me .

Although I have really good looks women pretty quickly sense something is wrong and ghost me. I am somewhat emotionally immature compare to my peers. I've never really lived on my own. I've never really had a long term good paying job. I don't know what else to say about myself, the bottom line is:

I've always had self image and social skill issues (basically non of either) but the last 1-2 years this started to turn around. I got better friends and started doing things conducive to my happiness and purpose in life. I actually had a relationship last year that lasted 2+ months (met on Tinder!) but she ghosted me (I think women a lot of women get turned off when you are way too nice). I can maintain a normal conversation, my thoughts don't race anymore, but I don't know how to get started trying to date again. Nothing is wrong with me mentally and part of me feels like I can learn all of this in the process and manage to be happy, but my previous negative experiences and crippled social life weigh me down.

I wish there was some way I could date without having to dump all this on the girl later on. But it's a little intense for a dating site bio.

Do I start practicing cold approach? Go back on dating sites? I'm willing to keep trying, but I MUST take direction and advice in order for things to not keep going the way they have every time. I feel like there has GOT to be a way for shy people to meet.

submitted by /u/Illustrious-Gas8729
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