I am a 22 year old female virgin (and proud of it). I am waiting till marriage, and I know that people have other ideas on that subject. I met a guy through a church online dating app. He seemed pretty great. Perfect for me as a 21-year-old female that had never been in a relationship. He was somewhat religious as he grew up with those beliefs and still lived with his family, who very much did. So I thought it was clear that I wouldn't be having sex. About a month into dating was the first time he told me he wasn't a virgin. Which I was perfectly okay with. I accepted him and didn't care that he made that choice. A few days later, when we were texting and flirting, he brought up that he was horny. At first, he said he was in a mood, and I didn't catch on, but once I did I freaked out and took space for like 15 minutes. He asked if I was okay, and I just told him that it was the first time having that said to me. He then asked if I got horny sometimes. I had no idea how to respond, and I just told him I wasn't ready to answer those questions yet. I then felt bad about wanting to avoid that topic and told him it was okay. I asked him what I can do when he feels like that he told me to respond in Sexy Talk. He told me that he loved me very much, that, in fact he was head over heels in love with me. That felt good to have that said to me. I never had anyone tell me that they loved me that much before. he also told me that saying you were horny was normal in relationships. The next day he sent me a picture of himself in his underwear (a mirror selfie) and then selfied of him in the shower with him biting his lip, telling me he was horny. No dick pictures, thankfully. He only ever told me he was horny over text messages or Snapchat selfies of him biting his lip in the shower. and he took LONG showers. One time while he was over, we were laying down ( he loved laying on top of me, which I was fine with), and he randomly brought up condoms and how they were lubricated and that if I still had the allergy to latex like I did as a child that it would be a problem. Also, we never really went out. Though Covid made it hard, we could still go on walks and to the beach and parks. But all he wanted to do was to go back to my place, and cuddle and order take out ( which I normally paid for). I lived alone and not with my family, so it was perfect. He wasn't as romantic in person as he was over text messages. And he didn't bring up being horny as much in person, but when he did, he used the words "we" me, thinking it was normal to say you were horny, I started saying that to him a couple of weeks before. To let him know I was in the mood even though I didn't plan on doing anything.
The first time he said it, he said it was too bad we couldn't do anything about it. I let him know the importance of waiting. His reply was, "I'll just go home and do it myself" A few days later, he told me that he struggled with watching porn on a regular basis ( as well as masturbating). It made me uncomfortable, but I still felt the need to be with him because he was still a nice guy and made me happy. (for the most part, when I started dating him, my depression got worse and I started self-harming and I lost most of my appetite) When we discussed his porn addiction, I let him know everyone has things that they are working on.I let him know what I was working on to become a better person, and by him telling me he was taking the first step.
The last week of dating, he forgot my birthday ( even though our birthdays were close together and I had been talking about it for weeks and that I was excited to give him something)
The day before he broke up with me over text messages I had spent the entire day with him. He didn't want to go outside, just stay in and watching movies, and then he watched his youtube videos. He had a sibling home and no one else. I felt like he was being super distant so I let him grope my breasts for the first time because he had brought up wanting to a couple times. It was super painful for me as I have sensitive breasts. I told him and he said he would just do it more gently and that I could take off my bra. Him groping me as already such a huge step. Went his sibling left the house he took me to his bedroom for the first time. As we laid there making out he told me that he loved me very much and that he wanted to touch every inch of my body. He told me that he had a dream that I grabbed his penis. I told him that would have to wait too, unfortunately. He asked how long and I told him to guess because I thought he knew the answer (marriage ) but he said "six or seven years" I giggled a bit and said sure if that's how long it takes.
I have a super small bladder and went to go pee. He left his room even though we weren't in there for long. I came out of the bathroom and then he was such a jerk to me. I was resting my arm in his leg near his crotch and he pushed it away telling me it hurt. I immediately stopped.He didn't talk much to me either. When he dropped me off at my house in the evening, he didn't get out like he normally does. He just kissed me goodbye and then drove off. Didnt even wait till I got into my house.
The next day I got a text from him with him breaking up with me. That hurt like hell. He was the one dating a virgin. Someone waiting till marriage. He broke me. I had been thinking of breaking up wit him or at least taking a break as I searched for what I want. if it was him or not.I wouldn't have done it over text though! I didn't deserve that at all. I wish I did.
I feel stupid, used and abused. Glad I am no longer a naive prissy.
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