I've been dating a girl for three months. She is unemployed, with zero experience and is aspiring to work in an industry which is heavily impacted by COVID-19. To top it all off, her visa expires in the next 6 months, and she cannot remain in the country without finding a job.
During our dating time, I've paid and planned for nearly all the dates (she cooked for me a few times to say thanks... with my groceries). She is constantly over at my place since she shares an apartment and I don't. I've got her a number of useful gifts like headphones and electronics cables. It's all been a bit one-sided because she is into the chivalrous type. But I did this from my heart, seeing as she has no income, I was happy to show her a good time and buy her what she needed to get by. I have a very stable job and earn a good income, so it really was not a big deal for me.
But during the past two weeks, she began to feel stressed out about money. She needs to pay for some courses (to enter the covid-19 impacted industry), and on some of our dates she would randomly burst out crying. The courses do not guarantee her finding the job she wants. Our last conversation was a bit heavier than usual:
- It felt like the vibe was moving towards her suggesting that I lend her the money but for me, three months of dating is a bit too little to lend a few hundred $ on her courses. If she bolts off with the money, I could never forgive myself.
- I strongly suggested that she applies for jobs outside her "dream" industry, and shelves the ideas until we start to recover from covid-19. I suggested that she finds a job which she is okay doing, and continues to work on her dream career slowly.
- Then I went a step too far and hinted that at some point, she might have to pick staying with me (and finding another job) VS chasing the dream job (until the visa runs out). After some negotiating with herself, she said she would pick staying with me. It took her a while to say it, and I was a bit hurt.
- So I asked her if it was ok that she sleeps at her place until I calm down from the conversation, because I was getting a bit emotional and did not want to cry in front of her. We met the following day and had a good time, forgetting about the conversation.
Today (following week) she cancelled our date and told me she wants a "break" because I'm not being supportive. She told me that I could text her, but she doesn't really want to see me in person until she sorts out some of her courses (which still don't guarantee her getting a job).
I was devastated after the call, and have now been considering messaging her tomorrow to break up with her. I feel like I've given her so much, but when I gave my honest critical opinion about her dreams (which I admit, is selfish for me), she decided to push me away. What should I do?
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