Looking for advice/thoughts. I (29F) met a guy (38M) at a party at a mutual friend’s house a few weeks ago; we are both single and have started hanging out. My baseline question is wondering if this guy is trying to trap me and looking for some perspective.
I’ll run down some details for context - none of these are mentioned as brags, but just facts about me: I’m 29 and single (long term relationship ended 3.5 years ago, casual dating for the most part since), I’ve never been married, I don’t have children (and may or may not want children, I’m not sure), I live by myself in a large, tidy apartment, I’m a manager in big4 accounting working from home making 6 figures, I drive a new Acura, I’m 5’4”/130 pounds, I work out regularly, I eat healthfully, I have generally healthy relationships in my life (and I’ve established boundaries for the difficult relationships). All in all, I have my sh!t together for the most part and am a “catch” according to dudes I’ve dated lol.
The guy is 38 and also single, has 3 children (oldest is 20, has indicated interest in maybe having another kid before he turns 40), is divorced, spent a year in jail recently from a self proclaimed mid-life crisis related to struggles with alcohol and drugs, works as a carpenter and loves what he does and volunteers for habitat for humanity and other similar programs, has a 5 year plan in mind, shares an apartment with his friend, is similarly health minded, comes across as intelligent, motivated, positive, humble, loving. His life has taken a very different path than mine, but he also appears to have his sh!t together.
He and I connect really well - we have engaging conversations, similar beliefs/values for a lot of things, the sex is fun. It’s been fun hanging out and getting to know him. He has indicated he has a high level of interest in pursuing a serious relationship with me. However, in terms of any sort of committed relationship, I’m honestly not in a place to do that (I have a complicated relationship with a different guy that I need to figure out before I can really pursue a serious relationship) - so I communicated that to him because I don’t want to lead him on and I think he’s really cool (and we talked about this before anything physical happened between us). We had a good conversation and I believe we are on the same page that we’re just casually hanging out.
So to my question on being trapped: last night we had sex - we did a bunch of foreplay stuff and then he just slid it in without a condom - he knows I’m not on birth control right now for health reasons so I was like “uh, condom?” And he immediately extracted himself saying basically “sorry, got caught up in the moment” and put one on. After we finished, as he was pulling out he said “oops - no, wait, nevermind, we’re good” so I’m like “what happened” and he responded that he thought the condom slipped and got jizz inside me but reassured me it was all good; I inspected and did in fact have some on and in me - not a lot, but some.
I’m wondering if he did that on purpose to get me pregnant and lock me down. He’s been upfront in his romantic interest in me. Is this a thing? But also, sometimes stuff happens and it may have been an honest mistake.
I have no idea if my pondering sounds insane but could use some perspectives!
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