I [M29] have some polarizing views on certain subjects, and I have issues finding potential partners with the same mindset. I don't want to convince anyone, I just wish to meet someone like me. One of my ex complained I did not share her own views in life and I was rather unsupporting, and I agree it might be off-putting. Yet I think they are logically correct? Can you tell me if I should reconsider them and why?
For example:
- "Big" problems of humanity do not matter. Climate change, deforestation, capitalism... since we can't really do much as individuals and we will all die at some point, I think it's useless to feel anxiety about these. Doesn't mean we shouldn't act, we should do our small part, but we shouldn't emotionally care. It's an event outside our control, why bother? My ex was on a quest to save the planet, so that didn't sit well with her when I told her all things considered everything is fine.
- Most small life problems do not matter either. I know it sucks that you lost the dress you liked, or that the train is late, or the driver in front of you is driving too slowly, but it's not the end of the world and you'll get over it pretty fast. I am sorry for you when it happens and I know that life is sometimes hard, but I would rather not be with someone complaining too much or lashing out too violently for trivial problems.
- I'm painfully honest by choice. If you ask me if this looks good on you and I don't think it does, I'd kindly state my opinion and why. Same for any kind of insecurity you might have and ask about it, like weight and age. I won't be blunt because I do not want to hurt, but I'll still get my opinion known. Lying is a strict no for me. Worse, deep down I feel that you shouldn't have that kind of insecurity to begin with, even though I understand why you might have it.
- Looks should not be important for our self esteem. Explanation: we all get ugly at some point, so being proud of our looks is bound to great disappointment when we inevitably lose them - especially if that's the one thing we cherish the most about ourselves. At the same time looks grant many benefits in life with no downside except taking some time/money. So you should take care of yourself but not derive self esteem from your own good looks. That's why I don't like getting compliments for my appearance, nor giving such compliments to someone.
Am I a horrible monster?
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